Another day out here.
I'm pulling on my jeans.
The rain,
it hits the palm trees
as the thunder's moving near.
I told you not to leave.
You did it anyway.
I'm falling against the tides that you created.
If I’m--

This morning,
you look better than two days ago.
Now we’ve got a decade or two to go,
so hurry up.
Let’s explore some continents.
Yeah.
We’ve got some itches to scratch.
Don’t you want to wake up out in Italy,
trying pasta and pizza out in Sicily?
Yeah.
Now it’s time to let go of my savings.
Ain’t nothing to invest
in your cravings and wishes.
Can’t wait to see your face on Christmas.
Even though your wish-list is long,
I’ve got you.
But, yeah…
My back kinda sore from snoozing in this room.
So tonight,
I’ve gotta go and lay in my bed.
I’ll be back in the morning.
Yeah.
I’ll see you tomorrow.

Don’t wake me up.
If I’m dreaming again,
just don’t wake me up.

Doc, you better check again.
That machine ain’t working.
Go and check again and again and again
until it fix.
Don’t tell me sit.
You ain’t qualified to fix it?
You’re supposed to be a doctor, dawg.
Do something!
Man, hurry up and move
or else they’ll be gone.
They ain’t gone.
They’re strong.
They’ve got more to--
Man, we’re running out of time, man.
It’s still early, dawg.
You can keep them alive, man.
They can still be saved.
You can defibrillate or something.
Go rejuvenate or something, man.
They can still be saved.
What you tryna say?
That they gone where?
Like they not here.
It’s still early.
They ain’t ready for obituary.
Keep them out the cemetery.

Dreaming again,
just don’t wake me up.
If I’m dreaming again,
just don’t wake me up.

Your name don’t look right on stone.
Your name don’t look right on stone.
I’ve been numb,
but still feel.
I’ve been stuck.
I can’t leave.
I don’t say you’re dead,
I say you’re home.
I keep looking for your name on my phone.
All the text messages you sent…
I be scrolling through.
And them voice notes been on loop.
Keeping our contact pinned.
I ain’t letting anybody move your things.
I’ve been keeping your chair empty at the table.
Nobody sitting in it or they’re coming to see you.
I keep your jackets on the hangers.
All of your clothes on the racks.
Your shirts.
Your pants.
Even those with stains.
I never washed,
and I won’t.
And your bed wasn’t made,
and that’s how it stays.
Look,
I won’t ever touch your pillow
‘cause the dent in it is proof of your breath in it.
And I be listening for your footsteps
in the hallway,
but I won’t ever hear your footsteps again
in the hallway.
I close my eyes
and I wish that tomorrow never came.
Nothing’s been the same.

Dreaming again,
just don’t wake me up.

You in a better place?
I’m here alone.
There ain’t gon’ be better days.
You’ve gone ghost.
Why you never answer me?
Why you take the hearse?
You know it don’t reverse.
Imagine how it hurts
when all you have is unanswered questions.
All I do is wonder why you leave.
Why you leave?
We agreed on thousands of tomorrows
but you didn’t keep your promise.
Why you ain’t give like a warning or a hint?
Just answer one question.
A message.
A sign.
Why?
Why you leave?
Why you had to go?
All I feel is rage
when I’m getting a condolence or a checkup.
I don’t need any comfort.
I don’t need anyone
‘cause they will leave me with nothing
but a deep crevice in my chest.
They’ll leave me with nothing.
They will leave me here
pestering a ghost for an answer to my question.
Why you take a one-way to better place?

Just don’t wake me up.
If I’m dreaming again,
just don’t wake me up.

I shoulda.
I should have prayed a bit harder for you
and begged the Father for you.
I could’ve bartered for you.
I’d switch places,
I swear I would.
Shoulda, coulda, wouldas
got me on the ropes.
I can’t stop playing back
every single choice that I made
coming up to when you left.
I should have taken it way more seriously.
If I knew what I know now then,
we’d be in Italy.
Look,
I was reading this story
about somebody who had the same condition,
and their solution was simple.
If I knew it,
I know that you would’ve never left.
I think I blew it,
it’s my fault that you ever left.
I should’ve held your hand
just a little bit tighter.
Yeah.
It coulda shoulda all been right.
I could’ve held your hand just a little bit tighter.
It could’ve all been right.
It could’ve all been right.
It could’ve all been right.
It would’ve all been right, man.
Coulda been--
I would’ve held your hand just a little bit tighter
if only I thought of the rain in this weather.
Rest in peace with the birthdays that never came.
Rest in peace with the jokes that you’ll never say.
Rest in peace with the family you’ll never meet.
Rest in peace with the wisdom and advice
that I’ll never get from you.
Yeah.
I realise
I’ll never hear from you again.
Legs weak.
Chest heavy.
Meal what?
Eat nothing.
Mirrors dodged.
Calls ducked.
Routine disappeared,
now my calendar is empty.
Where is my self?
Lost.
No shower,
I can’t stand.
I sit with memories.
Running from the air.
I camouflage tears beneath the bathwater.

Another day out here.
I'm pulling on my jeans.
The rain,
it hits the palm trees
as the thunder's moving near.
I told you not to leave.
You did it anyway.
I'm falling against the tides that you created.

Now
I stand in this water
with grief, pride, sorrow, and love combined.
This water is deeper than death.
Yeah.
It’s deeper than death.
It’s a release.
A release of your spirit.
A release.
A release of your spirit.
A release.
A release of your spirit.
I’m finally ready to let it go.
Clinging ain’t gonna ever bring you back.
You were a warrior,
and every warrior needs a rest.
You just laid down your sword
‘cause your arms couldn’t carry anymore.
Yeah,
your arms couldn’t carry anymore.
It’s a release.
You were ultimately healed.
Now
it’s forever peaceful.
I don’t feel guilty,
nah.
That don’t mean that’s all just sugary now.
But I can separate the joy from the blame
when your name appears.
Spiritual form is better than ours.
That truth is deeply comforting.
I can finally say your name out loud.
Yeah,
I can say your name out loud.
It hurts a little,
but a little bit less
each time that I mention it.
There’s nothing lost from what you gained.
I was not abandoned
‘cause you were never even mine in the first place.
You belong to the Lord.
All the love that we shared,
I’m so thankful for.
But our time was loaned.
It was a loan.
And by the way…
I understand why we were both so aligned.
We both proved to be each other’s spines.
Parallel backbones.
Parallel backbones.
Parallel backbones.
Parallel backbones.
And the time is always near
to meet the Lord in the air.
I know that you’ll be there.
Departure wouldn’t even be mentioned.
And it won’t feel like a reunion
‘cause death is no big deal.
What I mean is earth is temporary.
There’s eternity.
I’ll stay righteous over here
so I’ll mean it
when I say I’ll see you later.
A thousand years is a day,
so I’ll see you today…
and we have infinity tomorrows.